A LIFE IN-TUNED WITH OLD

apparently by someone else… someone who deserves her…

i kinda missed her… her name is malen

she has everything that i dreamed of a girl

she plays an instrument

shes a smart girl

she writes poetry

she smiles like no one else can

and she loved me

she is everything

we we’re together when we are kids, so you got the idea that i was immature and stupid, i never given her the love and attetion she deserves, but hey! i was 13 then.

i remember a moment when i tried to get back to her, and she answers “alam mo n yung sagot ko” she said yes to me again… but i didnt really took good care of that relationship, months flew, I made a decision/move that i regret up to this day, i left her again, for the reason up until now i dont know why i did… is’nt that stupid? i had everything i wanted, but i just threw it away.

i never had the chance to say that i was sorry, that i caused you pain, i was so immature, but hey! it made me the person that i’am now, a person that knows how to love, how to treasure and cherish a persons worth, and for that i thank you, hope you’re happy, and i know you are! thanks for the memories malen XD

it was puppy love (if you want to call it like that) and you will always be my 1st love (1st love never dies ryt?.. cheesy crap haha XD)

PS

i still have those poems you wrote and gave to me, w/the drawings and letters

ill still keep it, cause you’re a speacial part and will always be a special part of me..

i dont listen that much to RnB, but there is a song by usher and alicia keys w/ the line “There’s always that one person
that will always have your heart
You never see it coming cause
you’re blinded from the start” 

this line really reflect how i feel/felt(past tense?haha)

ill never forget you and your smile

best wishes to you and your husband

jason gives a smile to you coz you’re happy =)

it was the first time talking to you

first tym since u pointed that friendship is the only thing “that and must” exist between us

it was such a hard blow to me

sure i was acting to be ok
but of course.. i’am not

i have no choice but go with it… cause i can’t change it

i grew up with the saying “go against the flow,if you cant figure it out for the first time, find other ways to do it”

but this time, i cant find a way how to resolve this thing

i guess this time,
i just have to swim with the current like a dead fish

honestly theres nothin i can do,
i feel so powerless

to my tol!
thanks, for you helped me to forget bout my past relationship
but then suddenly things went ugly between us

i started to fall for you
sorry… now i must find a way it figure this out

either by saving this feelings i have for you or forgetting it completely

i guess the timing was right when you found about it
cause i’am really falling deeper into you
then you somewhat saved me again
by telling me to stop this
you saved me from falling deeper into you
saved me from falling hard to the ground
you saved me from falling

i got healed, got broken again… is there someone who’ll fix me again?

time will tell

-jason

it’s been years since i can really say that "i’am happy", years had past, i’am still stuck in this fucking situation, sometimes i ask myself "what the hell am i doing? why am i wasting too much tym waiting".

but again ill all always tell myself that i love her… that she’s the one i want… even though she refuses like a million times, still i waited, nd i waited for nothing…i even tried to be in a relationship again, but i just can’t.. i just can’t…

i’am fucking lost, now i’am trying to find myself again, trying to up pick up the pieces lost.. trying.

i remember the days when i was so eager to see her smile… laugh… tell stories,i adored her, she was my bliss, but she’s gone,everything is over, dead over. 

i did everything i could, i once fought for her… for us, but now i’am fighting to get out if it, fighting to to be somewhere better… hoping to be free from all this shit i have right now, hoping to find someone to fill this emptiness, but for now all i can do is hope…

it is so hard to when you feel completely complete,then a piece of you is suddenly gone

you want her to come back, cause you know now how it feels to be complete… but she wont,

a piece of you is now forever lost, nd will never be  found again

this is my shitty life! in just a heartbeat, everything is a fuckin mess, and all i can do is try to find my way out, to be happy again… somehow.

sorry for not being the-guy-that-you-can-proudly-present-to-your-parents

sorry for being just me…

                                                                                                                                                                                       -JASON